The best place to start a journey is always at the beginning, so it makes sense for me to begin my journey with an introduction as well as a glimpse into the reason I decided to start down this path. I will also give you a basic idea of what you can expect if you dare to peek inside my mind by reading my ramblings.
I am simplistically complicated, and a walking contradiction. I guess I am saying I am hard to understand, even though I crave being understood. I keep everything to myself, which is not fair to the people who love me. But even knowing this fact, I still internalize everything. When I am hurting, I hurt alone. But I love to share my joy. I guess I don’t want to share my pain, so I keep that to myself. But how can people understand me and help? Trust me, I have been asked that question so many times it is rather redundant. A lot of it stems from my childhood, and my insecurity. This leads to my greatest contradiction. I am an incredibly bright woman who is extremely intuitive. But I keep my brain hidden, and often don’t speak my mind. I am certain we will delve into the reasons for this at some point on this journey. I am a quiet observer, and people would be shocked to know what I see and understand.
I am the nicest person you will ever meet. I love to make people happy, and have earned the nickname “Sunshine” by almost everyone. My smile is genuine, because I prefer to see the light rather than the dark. This amazes people who know my full story. But why dwell on the bad when there is so much in life to embrace and enjoy? Some people see this as being too caring or naïve. I simply see it as being “me”. Don’t mistake my sweetness for stupidity though. I often see through people, I just rarely let them know. It makes it more interesting that way.
Another contradiction that drives me is the fact that I am incredibly honest, yet trust no one. This stems from pain, and reality. It is also one of the biggest reasons I keep so much locked inside. I have walls that have been forged from pain. My tears form the mortar that fill the cracks. Yet I still smile through it all.
I am certain you will get a better image of who I really am after reading some of my posts. As I said in the basic introduction to my blog, there will not be a topic or subject. This blog will encompass me as a whole, hence the name. You might find some of my poetry or short stories with hidden meanings. You will find rants and raves. You will find pain, and nostalgic memories. You will find sheer joy. I will vocalize my real thoughts and opinions about many topics that are current to the world, or things that simply pop into my head. I do no ask or expect you to agree with my opinions, but I do expect respect. If your idea of debating a topic is to resort to name-calling, then perhaps you need to look in the mirror. When a person has a true rebuttal to something they disagree with, they can express it in an intelligent way. If they need to resort to name calling or belittling, they just lost the debate because they have no valid point. If something I say infuriates you, and inspires you to resort to a juvenile temper tantrum, then I issue a challenge if you are brave enough: rather than resorting to losing the battle by belittling yourself with immature antics, ask yourself why it angers you so much. Perhaps, a part of you agrees with what you read, or it makes sense, and that challenges everything you have ever believed. The best way to be informed, and achieve an intellectual state of being, is to be open-minded and THINK.
Welcome to my world ~ Good Luck!